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It's a celebration: Millen Era over in Detroit
Cold, Hard Football Facts for September 24, 2008
We felt a little giddy this morning. Something just felt good about the day. So we started drinking about 9 a.m., a solid two hours earlier than normal.
It's a great, celebratory day for football fans, especially those who would like to see the proud old Lions of Bobby Layne, Joe Schmidt and Barry Sanders return to the fold of competitive NFL teams once again.
And what's a little celebration without a little Kool & the Gang? This is for you, Detroit (just don't riot in the streets or anything, like you usually do):
Of course, Detroit's futility in the Millen years is something we covered better and in more detail than anybody. Here are some of the highlights on this glorious day for the NFL and, we hope, for the tortured fans of the Motor City.
Look at it this way, Detroit: You may have lost your job to some Third-World automaker thanks to the criminally high corporate tax rates here in the U.S, but at least you can hold your head high for one day.
Just a few days ago, we looked at what might be Matt Millen’s worst legacy: the apathy among the fans and the poor offensive play he left behind in the Motor City.
We knew things were coming to a head in the summer, when we couldn’t even bring ourselves to find a grade for Detroit’s off-season moves.  One of the greatest mysteries in sports is why teams continue to pour resources into first-round wide receivers who fail far more often than they succeed. And nobody failed better or more often at drafting wide receivers in the first round than Matt Millen.
You thought Matt Millen was clueless? Well, you have no clue how clueless he was until you look at this list of studs he passed on during his frenzy to draft wide receivers.
It was easy to identify Detroit’s organizational flaws this past spring: ownership, management, talent, institutional apathy, poor attitude, playing in a dome, poor quarterbacks and poor draft choices. Other than that, everything was rosy.
No group of fans inspired a longer list of “fire the boss” sites than fans in Detroit.
We used Ms. Hatcher’s breasts as a metaphor for the futility of drafting wide receivers. The strategy certainly never helped Millen and the Lions. But rest assured that our metaphor is real and it’s spectacular.
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